snowpocalypse 2k10

snow, snow, and more snow! the cons: its cold, i havent left the house today, and it would have been nice to leave wisconsin for some warmer weather. the pros: not leaving the house has given me time to be pretty productive today and has even given me the time to update my blog :)

being home has been really great so far...tons of concrete, cars, pollution, and noise :) merry christmas to me! i have definitely missed my family and friends and i couldnt really imagine being anywhere else at christmas time than here. but i do miss working, and having a routine, and laughing hysterically at middle school kids!

theres not too much to report since i have really been using my time at home to visit with everyone and do nothing while i have the time to. snowpocalypse 2k10 is well underway and supposedly wont be over until tomorrow night. and i was worried about wisconsin winters!

115 days down...172 days to go

115 days = 16 weeks and 3 days = 4 months = time i have lived in wisconsin! and after all this time i will finally be going home for 2 whole weeks on friday! i guess 4 months isnt really that much but i feel like i have been gone for soooo long even though the last 4 month have FLOWN by...

last weekend we were in memphis for our marathon fundraiser. it was really nice to be able to get to some warmer weather and see all the other volunteers, especially fellow jaspers! i can now say that i have officially completed my first 5K and i was even able to raise $5 more than my fundraising goals- not bad at all! thanks to everyone who donated!

other than that, things have been pretty much the same. the kids have been a little lazy with their hw lately, but i get it. the time between thanksgiving and christmas is always like that. i am with them- its time for a break! but they still have me cracking up on a daily basis and thats never a bad thing :)

i really just cant believe that half of my year is over. there are days when i feel like i just moved to wisconsin yesterday and there are other days when i feel like i have lived here forever. the dreaded question of whether or not i will back for year 2 has been coming up a lot more than usual lately, for better or for worse. the kids have asked me a bunch of times, and we have gotten the information about how to renew if we want to, and i have thought about it as well. and i still have mixed emotions about it. sometimes i think about how this has been a great experience and i am ready to do something else and sometimes i think that there is no way that i can do what i want to do here in 172 days and that i need more time.

the good thing is that i still have more time to make my decision and i really think having some time away will help me gain some clarity over the whole situation. no rushing any decisions for now- we all know how much i loveeeee to decide on things :)

nothing too earth shattering in other news. or maybe there is and i just forgot. oh well, if that is the case please accept my sincerest apologies!

i dont think i will have time to update again before i leave so i guess thats it. 5 more days of midwest life and then im back to the new york. yayyyy- see you soon east coast!

i'm a believer

i must begin with my apologies on not updating my faithful readers on my super exciting life in almost 3 weeks! november has been soooo busy and now that thanksgiving has given me some time off of work, i finally am able to take some time to update everyone on the last few weeks. so yes this will be long...but it will be worth it! :)

we have had a visitor at our house every weekend in november! my mom came for a weekend, court came to visit, and jolleen, the associate director of the lasallian volunteers was here right before thanksgiving. (all the volunteers get a visit from one of the programs administrators twice a year to check in and see how everything is going) it was nice to have different people around and spend some time with people from home. i cant believe that i have been in wisconsin for 3 whole months! time has definitely gone by quickly but it was nice to have some familiar faces around, especially right before thanksgiving.

work has been going well. i am busy, but not too busy :) and the kids are so great. they are hilarious and i constantly find myself entertained by them. i wish that i could pass of their jokes as my own but im not so sure they would be as funny coming from me as they are coming from them.

jolleen was the person was responsible for my whole interview process with the lasallian volunteers so i thought it was pretty fitting that she was also coming for our site visit. leading up to her visit i thought a lot about my whole interview process and how reluctant i was to agree to come to racine for my year of service so i decided that when she came to visit i was going to investigate the whole placement process which i prefer to think of as a draft :)

the only thing i really remember about the conversation i had with jolleen when she told me i was moving to wisconsin was me responding with "yea, no, i really dont see myself there". when i asked jolleen what she remembered she said that she was surprised that i asked her if there were cows there. HAHA yes, i probabaly did do that too! and i think it went something like "when i think of wisconsin, all i think of is cows. there is no way that racine is urban." jolleen also told me how surprised she was that i agreed to come to racine with so little persuasion on her part. she said that when i told her that i was going to agree to my placement she thought i was either really resilient and up for a challenge or completely crazy. i think its a little of both!

it was nice to have jolleen here to not only answer my burning questions about placement, but also to check in with and talk about how everything has been going this year so far. we talked about how this whole experience has surprisingly made me consider teaching in the future and how i really feel that i have learned just as much, if not more, from the students i work with as they have learned from me.

a big part of my experience that i shared with jolleen was the fact that i often think about the students i work with and how they have lived more life in their time up to middle or high school than i probably will live in my entire life. in the past 3 months, i have heard more stories about families that are struggling, brothers and sisters who are in jail, people who have been shot or killed, and the difficulties of having family in two countries at once than i have in my entire life. and the kids tell me like its nothing! it is so crazy for me to think that a lot of these situations are "normal" for them and i admire them for the adversity that they often face. the meaning of resiliency has never been so clear to me!

yesterday we spent the day in chicago at two different lasallian communities for the thanksgiving holiday. both of the communities have lasallian volunteers, but only one of the communities has brothers living with them. it was nice to see everyone again and spend time with a bigger group for thanksgiving. we were able to see how everyones service work was going and get a change of scenery for the day.

on our way home, desiree and i were talking about the hoidays, and our work, and our time at thanksgiving and we both agreed that...

DRUMROLLLL PLEASE (because you never thought that i would say this!)

we are so happy that we are in racine. i know! i was kind of surprised too! i mean, are there things i dont love about my experience so far? yes. do i miss living in new york? absolutely. do i sometimes wish that i was closer to my family and friends? of course. but its normal to feel those things and i have no regrets about taking part in this experience.

so yes, here is my shout out to jolleen, alissa, mari, and zac...i get it now. i'm a believer. and i know why you guys are in charge! :)

i think that pretty much sums it up for now. 2 more weeks until christmas break! yayyyyyyy :) and one more week until the marathon. i reached my fundraising goal! but that doesnt mean you still cant donate all that money you saved this morning on your black friday sales to yours truly :) heres the link...https://lasallianvolunteers.myetap.org/fundraiser/lvsrunninginmemphis/individual.do?participationRef=4586.0.2022467

buddha says it best!

so this is my postsecret postcard that i made and mailed in last year. for those of you who dont know about postsecret, you should really check it out! its a blog that asks people to anonymously send in their secrets and each week many of the secrets received are posted. and they have books. and i love love love it!


but anywayyyy- i have been thinking A LOT lately about my time here and the work i have been doing and even about next year. the lasallian volunteers allow each us to choose to renew our time at our sites for a second year if we want to. we can also choose to renew for a second year and request to switch which site we work at. and for whatever reason, the idea of deciding what i want to do next year has been in my head. and although it is a while before i have to make a decision, i still think about it often.

there is a big part of me that is so ready for the next step. i have had my time away from school and am ready to be in a classroom learning again. i want to be back in the city and pursuing a master's degree. the idea of this is exciting to me and i am eager to get going on it. but this would mean that i would have to take the gre over christmas break and start on my applications and whatnot like yesterday. so while it is possible, i would definitely be cutting it a little close.

the other big part of me feels that it would be so unfair for me to leave here after only one year. a year sounds like a longggg time, but its not! i cant believe that its already november and that i have been living in wisconsin for almost 4 months! i have started to get really close with a lot of the kids and when they ask me if i am coming back next year, i almost feel bad telling them that i dont know.

the kids that we work with experience change and inconsistency more often than not. some of them have moved 4 or 5 times in a year, changed schools numerous times, and live in homes where they are promised things that never come to fruition. only 20% of teens perceive that adults in the racine county community value youth. only 23% of young people in racine county report having positive and responsible role models. and only 25% of racine county youth report having useful role models in the community.

i would just feel so guilty "abandoning" these kids and reinforcing the idea that adults here dont value the youth of the community. i know that i am not technically responsible for sustaining the development of all the kids i work with, but i cant help but feel at least a little responsible.

i know that i cant base my decision off of guilt or feeling bad or not wanting to disappoint anyone. and i also know that i have plenty of more time to make a final decision about what i want to do. for now, its not fair to live in the future and not focus on the present. i am here now and regardless of whether or not i will be back in the future shouldnt take away from what i am doing right now.

i think buddha sums it up pretty well- “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

5 simple rules to happiness

i found this and wanted to share!

5 simple rules to happiness:
1. free your heart of hatred
2. free your mind of worries
3. live simply
4. give more
5. expect less

never have i ever...

never have i ever...

1. run
my 5k training has been going well so far. i am proud of the fact that i have actually been able to stick with it and am surprised that it is not as bad as i thought it would be! (insert shameless plug for money) i am about half way to my fundraising goal and you can still help me out! heres the link :) https://lasallianvolunteers.myetap.org/fundraiser/lvsrunninginmemphis/individual.do?participationRef=4586.0.2022467

2. been an esl teacher
each wednesday, i spend time with a middle school student named kim. he is a native of thailand and still struggles with the english language. and by struggle, i mean struggleee. he is supposed to be a freshman in high school this year but it was decided that he would stay in middle school for an extra year because he is not comfortable with english.

when they had first asked me to help kim with esl, i figured that i would helping him working on his reading and maybe some writing skills. easy enough- i do both of those things everyday with the kids at the center. what i found out when i arrived was that this was not the case. we are working on the alphabet, letter recognition, phonics, and vocabulary. and it is hard! i think it is safe to say that this is probably one of the most, if not the most, challenging task i have taken on in a longggg time. i often ask myself "whats the best way to teach a 15 year old the alphabet without using materials that are designed for a 3 year old?" it is definitely difficult at times, but i think i have a good plan of action for the time being and hope that it will work. keep your fingers crossed!

3. argued with middle school students so much, even when i was in middle school!
i mostly work with middle school students. some elementary. and some high school. so i now know exactly why my mother was not such a fan of me during grades 6, 7, and 8. some of the middle school kids are so great and well behaved one day and the next day will fight me to do their homework and argue about everythinggggg. i dont get it. good thing i had plenty of practice dealing with college students who behaved like middle schoolers during my time as an RA! but i suppose that i too was just like this at one point in my life so i am willing to be patient and hope that there are more great and well behaved days than fighting and arguing days. please pray for this as well :)

4. felt like such a mom/kid all at the same time
on wednesday, thursday, and friday this week the center was closed. so there were no kids :( but i did get a lot of work done :) we took a group of kids to chuck e. cheese for a reward from our incentive program on thursday afternoon and another group of kids to racine's factory of fear haunted house on friday night for their reward. chuck e. cheese was so completely overstimulating- i felt like i was about to seizure from all the noise and lights. i hadnt been to chuck e. cheese since i was about 7 years old so it was fun. i almost didnt go in the haunted house because i hate scary things but i figured i kind of had to because it was for the kids and everything. verdict- it wasnt that scary. i actually found the whole thing somewhat hilarious minus the creepy monster guy who followed me through the haunted house breathing in my ear the whole time. grosssss

that was the kid part. it was nice to see the kids outside of an academic setting and allow them to participate in something that they might not get to do on their own. and pretending i was in middle school again :) the mom part is pretty much a lot of my other time at work. i email teachers, go to teacher conferences, and make sure that the kid's finish their homework.

i guess for where i am at in my life its pretty fitting. i get to pretend im actually an adult but still get to have fun. the best of both worlds? i think so! :)

double, double toil and trouble

some pictures from our recent halloween activities! :)

roses and thorns

i feel the need to update my blog but dont have too much to report, so a i figured a quick edition of roses and thorns (thank you horan hall staff meetings!) would be fun...

roses:
-i have been superrrrrr productive this week and its only wednesday
-next week is short- i only have to work 2 days!
-i have catalogued EVERY book in the entire library of the center...and yes that means taking each one off the shelf
-kids asking me to be their own personal mentor :)
-my running is getting easier
-i have 2 visitors coming in november!
-someone anonymously donated money to me today for our LV fundraiser...thank you mysterious donor :)
-pandora has really been on point lately

thorns:
-i really would love some ny pizza right about now
-the fact that i actually spend time arguing with middle school students
-complainers
-i have to buy things at walmart tomorrow for an activity- stupid rollbacks that help us stay within our budget
-cold weather is coming...i can tell! :(

somewhere in between:
-october is flyingggg by
-i had a break from cooking dinner this week
-LVs are recruiting at MC (yay!) but im not there (boo!)
-i have a ton of things on my to do list

more roses than thorns- thats a good sign!!

good things come to those who wait!

soooo i must first start by apologizing for taking so long to update everyone since my last post!

things have been going well and i have found that there is little time for me to be bored, hence the lack of posting. last weekend, my dear friend chris(toph)er michael dempsey came to visit me! we went to a brewery, got to tour the jelly belly factory, made new friends at karaoke, and spent some time at the lakefront and on main street. nothing too terribly exciting, but it was sooooo nice to have a familiar face around and reminisce about all the silly/funny/crazy things that we did in college :)

having a visitor really made me think about and appreciate how lucky i am to have so many good people in my life. while many of them may not be near me right now, it is still nice to know that even from far away, i have a lot of support. it makes being away a little easier and gives me reassurance that what i am doing is worthwhile.

nothing too terribly exciting or interesting has happened at work lately. just doing my cath thing, trying to the kids to love/not hate science :)

i talked with another friend this past week about a job opportunity that has come up for him that would require him to move away from his family for 3 years. he is hesitant, which is completely understandable, but i still think he should do it! talking with him also gave me some clarity on my journey and what i am doing with my work here, so for that i am grateful. so i thought i would include the convo that we had (with his persmission of course!). i think it pretty much sums up where i am at right now...

me: have you thought anymore about your job thing
friend: its all im thinking about
me: i would do it. but thats me. if you dont think you will be happy, then its not worth it.
friend: idk if ill be happy. all i keep hearing is you saying "you cant live your life in fear"
me: i do always say that!
friend: i know and i keep on saying "damn you catherine
me: yea you cant decide without some time
friend: i know. i really dont know what im thinking. its like my mind is racing.
me: thats fair. i completely freaked out when i heard that i could be agreeing to move to wisconsin.
friend: i know. and youve calmed down
me: right...the best thing about people is that we are resilient. even though you think you cant you most likely can.
friend: but what happpens if i get there and everyone i work with is 40 and married?
me: then they are 40 and married. you just have to decide whats more important to you right now...having a job or being around other people. and it sucks that you have to decide between those things but unfortunately thats the decision you have to make.
friend: true
me: its annoying...i hate making decisions!
friend: yeh. like i mean..how happy are you?
me: there are days where i completely love what i am doing. and there are days when i dont. but then i think that if i were doing something else that would still happen
and i just have to trust and know that while this may not be what i had planned or what i saw myself doing its where im supposed to be right now. its not forever and experience is never a bad thing.
friend: yeh true
me: i mean think about all the other times in your life when you didnt want to do something bc you were worried you would be lonely. it always works out.
friend: true. ok i think i can do this.
me: yes you can!
friend: i can have a blog too!!!
me: yes...and be famous!

there you have it...inspiring the world one blog at a time :)

like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives

i have recently been thinking alot about how my life has changed so much in the last 2 months.

2 months ago i lived on a college campus with mostly people who were all my age. i had enough money to do (almost) anything i wanted to whenever i felt like it. i knew enough people that i could call/text when i felt like hanging out and would usually be able to find someone to spend some time with.

now i spend most of my time with people who are 18 years old and under. i work at least 10 hours a day. and i only get $200 a month. i can count how many people i know who live near me on my two hands. and as different as it is and as strange as it may sound, i wouldnt want it any other way! :)

i was placed in racine for a reason. and until now, i do not really think that i truly believed that. there were more days than not that i would be annoyed or frustrated with the idea that i was living and working in wisconsin, when i could have easily decided to stay in new york. i didnt feel like i was doing anything worth doing. it felt like i was just going through the motions for the sake of getting a task done. buttttt...thankfully, that is no longer! i am confident that this is where i am supposed to be and this is what i am supposed to be doing, at least for now. i do not know that i will continue to work in the field of education in the future, but for the time being this is completely right.

i spent friday morning attending parent/teacher conferences with a family of students that come to the center. the students, marcos, who is in 8th grade, maria who is in 3rd grade, and johnny who is in 2nd grade all attend a private school in the area. neither one of their parents speak english so they struggle with communicating with teachers at the schools. they asked me to attend the conferences with them so i could help translate and also get a better idea of what the students need to work on when they come for tutoring.

i was and still am so impressed by marcos, maria, and johnny's parents. they moved here from mexico to ensure that their children had more opportunities than they did. neither one of them can read or write in english and they have to work ten times as hard as most people to get the same results. simple communication is a challenge, but despite all of this, they took the time to meet with their kids teachers and are so completely invested in their childrens education. when the teachers reported something bad, you could tell that they were dissapointed. and when the teachers said something good, they were proud. they were concerned with how the children behave at school and what they can do to help make sure they are successful in their academics.

marcos struggles with science and being organized. perfect! those are both my areas of expertise :) his teachers said that he is a hard worker in class, but needs to work on making sure he turns things in on time and puts in as much effort outside of school as he does when he is at school. maria reads below grade level, but is improving. her teacher says that she struggles with written work, which is not surprising considering she comes from a home where spanish is spoken exclusively. johnny also reads below grade level and is having a hard time improving his reading skills. he also needs to work on his multiplication and math skills.

as i spent time at the conferences discussing these things, i realized that these are all things that we can work on. you can help someone be better organized or improve their reading skills or practice multiplication tables. but unfortunately, for the parents of these children, the situation is completely different. marcos, maria, and johnny's father told their teachers that the reason why he is so strict with them about school is because he does not want his children to be in the same situation that he is in. he explained that since he cannot read or write, he has to use his body, instead of his mind, for his work. he said that he knows that he has to have the worst jobs because of this and at the end of the day he often feels badly. he comes home tired and worn out because of the physical nature of his job. and he doesnt want this for his kids.

i felt so terrible after hearing this. i felt angry and sad. but in a backwards sort of way, it also helped me be more inspired. while it would be difficult to change the situation of these students parents, it is not so difficult to change the situation of these students. they have tonssss of potential and, with the right resources and in the right environment, can achieve success. i am only one person, and i cant guarantee that what i do will ensure a perfect future, but what i am doing cant hurt.

and so after this veryyyyy long rambling of thoughts, the moral of the story is that like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives- and as of right now, my days are completely, 100% exactly what they should be :)

ok racine...we can be friends now

friday, september 24, 2010 was most definitely one of my favorite days everrrr!

i woke up early to go for a run in preparation for the 5K race that i have decided to take part in on december 4th...ahhhhh. the lasallian volunteers program participates in a marathon every year to help raise money to allow the program to continue sponsoring volunteers each year. soooooo...(insert shameless plug for money) if you want to help sponsor me in running and help support the lasallian volunteer program, you should go to https://lasallianvolunteers.myetap.org/fundraiser/lvsrunninginmemphis/individual.do?participationRef=4586.0.2022467 and help me out :)

i spent the rest of the morning over at the center do some catch up stuff. we met some people who may be potential benefactors for the center. they seemed really interested in the work we were doing, so hopefully they will be feeling extra generous the next time they want to give money away. and they will remember the center!

after work was done, we went to lunch at a new place that just opened. its called the soup and as you may have guess it serves only soup. the food was so delicious and we got to speak with the owner for a few minutes. she told us that she only uses locally grown produce and makes the soup fresh every morning! loveeeee

we walked around main street for a little while after and went to the HOPES center. it is an organization run by the dominican sisters and has three different purposes. the HOPES center has a fair trade goods store, a coffee shop with all fair trade coffee, teas, and hot chocolate, and an area that offers counseling and life coaching services. SOOO COOOLLLLL- google it! needless to say i loved it :)

we were able to speak with one of the sisters who works there and a woman who was so knowledgeable about everything fair trade. she told us that of all the places in wisconsin, racine is one of the most progressive! coming from ny, i wouldnt label racine as "progressive" but i completely understand what she meant.

there really are some very cool places that are doing "out of the box" stuff here. i have seen so many different organizations and establishments that recognize the green movement and fair trade and the importance of saving energy. there are entire buildings here made of recycled materials and that run entirely on solar energy. pretty awesome.

thennnn last night a woman named mary beth, who was the former principal of the school where the center is located and we have affectionately named our crazy aunt of racine, invited us to go to family fun night with my absolute favorites family of students that come to the center. and the theme last night was chemistry! I WAS SO EXCITEDDDD! my favorite kids and my favorite subject- what more could i ask for? :)

so we went over to that with the kids. it was basically a bunch of demonstrations by the chemistry majors of a local college of various experiments involving chemistry. the kids loved it! every time one of the college students did something the kids clapped and every time they asked a question the kids were jumping up and down trying to get picked to answer. it made me wonder if teaching (yikes!) may be in the future for me. i have always said that i dont think i would want to teach but who knows? maybe?

after the chemistry night we went over to the pumpkin farm and then back to mary beth's house to roast marshmallows. it felt so much like fall! such a great night :)

and after alllllll of that, we came back and decided to go out for beer with one of our other roommmates. we got a drink and then stopped at a pizzeria. i asked if they sold slices of pizza to which they replied yes. so i ordered one. naturally i expected this slice of pizza to be a large triangle shape and be ready in about 3 minutes, right? WRONGGG...it took about 15 minutes to get a circular personal pan pizza deliver to me. it was so weird to me haha and i wanted to share. whatever midwest...

i think thats it for now- catch you on the flipside!

happy anniversary to me!

its official..i have been a resident of wisconsin for exactly one month! i cant believe that i have made it through 4 entire weeks of being back in the midwest- needless to say, i am pleased :)

at the center today, i worked a lottttt on reading with the students. it made me think about my own time in elementary and middle school and how lucky i was/am for having been able to be educated in the setting i was educated in. it is something that i have most definitely taken for granted and i am now just realizing how lucky i was to have teachers who wanted to see me succeed, an environment that promoted success, and parents that constantly supported whatever it was that i was pursuing.

the kids here struggle. they struggle at school with reading and writing and math, the same things that most kids their age struggle with. but they also struggle at home. they dont live in homes where they are told they can be anything they want to be, or with parents who have the time and energy to sit down with them and go over their homework, or in an area where they can play outside whenever they want and not have to worry about being safe.

part of me feels sad for the students that i work with because they are constantly working against the odds. and then i remind myself that this is all the more reason to invest myself in what i am doing here and really work to inspire and motivate these students to reach their full potential.

i am most definitely learning and growing and i can tell! and thats good news! so far i think its been a good first month- im excited to see what the future has in store!

GTL...guide, translate, law enforcement

in honor of one of my current favorite shows on trash television, i have in fact entitled this entry GTL...wisconsin style of course

this afternoon i spent time GUIDING students with my excellent tutoring and mentoring skills :) we had a new group of students who came today...a family of 3 children, one in 8th grade, one in 3rd grade, and one in 2nd grade. they are such great kids! i really enjoyed working with them and seeing how enthusiastic they are about school and learning. the other students that i have been working with were also back this week, continuing to focus on math and social studies homework.

i really have found that each one of the children that i work with is so unique and i love that i can spend time with each one of them getting to know who they are, what they are interested in, and how they learn best. i am enjoying being a "teacher" much more than i thought i would and i dont think i am as bad of a teacher as i originally though i might be :)

this afternoon, i also had to TRANSLATE for a spanish speaking family who was meeting with a new mentor. and i was nervouss! it has been a long time since i have used my spanish speaking skills but i surprisingly did pretty well- everyone seemed to get what they needed to out of the meeting and while it was not perfect, i think i did a pretty good job!

the evening session had less students than the afternoon. i worked on spelling homework with one student, multiplying decimals with another student, and little mini "counseling" session with another student.

the end of the night came and it was time to stand outside with the students until their rides came. desiree and i were waiting with the students, two of which had an argument earlier in the evening. we tried to keep these two students separated from one another until their parents came to pick them up, but that clearly would not have been as fun as playing LAW ENFORCEMENT, which included, but was not limited to, shouting outside the center, following a student down the street, offering a student a paper towel to clean the blood off of his hand after he punched a brick wall, and seeing a mother behave like a teenager...

operation "tricking people into thinking i am a real person" week 1

congratulations! today you get a 2-for-1 special from this fabulous blog that i know you all have been religiously following :) first, pictures of my cute little classroom...second, my priceless thoughts from my first few days of real work








the center officially opened on wednesday. not too many kids have been coming yet because they dont have too much school work and the weather is still somewhat nice, but there have been a few that i have seen twice now and some new students came for tonights session.

the center is open from 330-530 and 7-830 each night. the afternoon session is geared towards middle school students, which is my primary focus at the center, and the night session is geared toward high school students.

the past two days, i have spent the afternoon session with 2 students, one is in 6th grade and the other is in 7th grade. they are extreme opposites as far as work ethic and personality, but they are both so cute and i love working with both of them! we have been spending most of our time on math and some social studies. and i have been trying to get the kids to read and/or write in their free time. the 6th grade student, who is definitely the more bold and outspoken of the two, has been bargaining with me every day about what he has to do to get prizes from the incentive program, how he can earn extra attendance points, and today, he tried to convince me that he read a 50 page book in 15 minutes. an A for effort, but unfortunately for him, i am smarter than the average bear :)

last night, no high school students were in my room for the night session, but today i had one 7th grader who made up for the lack of students last night! she talked the entire hour and a half and told me that she "will be remembered"! we worked on some math and some geography homework, but she mostly shared her life story with me, including her opinion about each and every one of her family members, teachers, and everyone who works at the center- haha

the kids have really made this experience so much better already and i have only worked with them for 2 days! they are so smart and have so many skills and talents that just need the right environment to grow in. they are inquisitive and want to know about how the world works and i love that. but most of all they make me laugh and thats important! i am learning and having fun with them and i hope that they are having fun and learning from me as well.

tomorrow is just a day to catch up and do some administrative work because the center is closed on fridays. although i do see happy hour in my veryyyy near future...:)

just the ticket!

it looks like my pledge to drop my bad attitude and face this experience with a positive outlook has been just the thing i needed! since i last wrote, things have been getting better and i finally feel like myself here, which is a really good thing :)

i havent been doing anything too different work wise from the usual, but tomorrow the center opens and the kids start coming for tutoring. and i am so so so excited! this is why i am here and i cant wait to learn and grow from the kids and this experience. my classroom is all set up, all the bulletin boards are finished, and i even get my own desk! haha- very teacher-ish

so as i sit here writing and thinking about whats going on in wisconsin, i finally have no complaints :) and i love that! i feel like tomorrow is my first day of school again- hmmm...i wonder what i should wear...

adios negative nancy...

soooo i feel like i have complained and whined so much since i moved. and i dont like it! its not who i am and i hate not feeling like myself- ITS TIME FOR A CHANGE!! tonight i say goodbye to negative nancy and hello to positive someone who's name begins with a p...

the reality is that i am here. and i signed on to do something that has the potential to change me and those that i interact with for the rest of our lives. i am lucky to have an opportunity that challenges me and pushes me to limits that i never knew i had. there is no doubt that i will grow from this experience and thats a good thing! it would unrealistic to say that i will love every minute of every day that i am part of this program but thats life. if i had a job or was continuing with school, it would be the same thing. and whats the worse that could happen? i step outside of my comfort zone for a year, try something new, and am one step closer to what i am supposed to be doing- either because i decide that this is not something that i want to continue or it is something that i love and want to pursue in the future. i am certain that when i am done, if nothing else, i will be able to say "im glad i did that" or "that changed me" or "i really learned something through this".

complaining all the time is not who i am and i dont want to begin a new experience with a bad attitude. i like to think that i am a positive person who is willing to try new things and make the best of whatever situation i am faced with, so thats what i am going to do!

soooo peace out negative nancy- its been real, but i think its best if we part ways

new york, i love you

tonight i miss everything about new york :(

we went out to some of the bars close to our house and its just not the same. when we were at the bar, one of the people i live with asked me what it is that i like the most about new york and what it is that i miss the most about new york. and i had no answer. i cant possibly choose ONLY one thing that new york has to offer that racine does not. i cant event articulate what it is about new york that i love so much, but its something that i have not yet found here.

tomorrow its back to work- making bulletin boards and getting my classroom organized. i cant wait until the students start coming next week. thats why i am here. i embarked on this journey to (hopefully) make a difference in the lives of the students that i am working with. and until i get that chance, i dont know that i will really find my "niche" here.

wednesday, september 8th, pleaseeee hurry!

showing some wisconsin love?

okkkk...since it has been a while since i have updated this, i figured the easiest way to make sure i get everything in is to go day by day. then you can pretend you were there! it will be fun...promiseeee :)

WEDNESDAY- desiree and i spent the day at the center working on preparing binders for the mentors and tutors and folders for the parents. just some office work, organizing, working on some bulletin boards, and whatnot. on wednesday night, we went to the brewers game as a community. and despite my best effort to like baseball, i still cant :( i dont think i have the attention span for the sport!

THURSDAY- more folder stuffing and preparing for things at the center. after work, we went library and got our very own racine library cards. and they were having a book sale so we got some books for 50 cents! thanks racine public library :)

FRIDAY- back at the center getting ready and helping prepare for the students to come. we told our boss, shirley (who may very well be the cutest and sweetest woman in the world!) about the book sale at the library so she gave us some money to go back and get some books for the center. we really want to emphasize reading and get the kids at the center interested in books. so hopefully this will help me to jumpstart my reading too! then target to get some flashcards and bookmarks and stickers of course :)

SATURDAY- we had our CAP meeting on saturday morning. CAP stands for community annual program. its basically a day where all the members of the community sit down and set some goals and guidelines to follow for the year. we had our meeting at shirley's house and got to try our very first kringle, which is an omish pastry that racine is famous for. apparently barack obama even came to racine to get kringle this summer! on saturday night, we went out to dinner at a restaurant that is known for its pizza. it wasnt exactly like ny, but it was good. and it was nice to end our CAP day with a dinner out together. and thennnnn, being the exciting kids that we are, desiree and i spent our saturday evening going grocery shopping and watching a movie- good timesssss
ohhh, and i got to skype with court :)

SUNDAY- and then there is today. desiree and i went to mass this morning and then had a table set up after mass to register kids for the center. we met some people who are mentors at the center and a woman who is on the committee of directors. and then when we were finallyyyy finished with all of our work for this week, we spent the afternoon at the beach! the water was FREEZING, but the lake is really pretty and it was nice to have time to relax and do something fun


so overall, i am still not completely sold on wisconsin, but im still adjusting. its new and i need time to get used to everything. and i really feel that once i get into a better routine and start getting to actually work with the students i will learn to love the midwest (almost) just as much as new york :)

stars and gripes

so because i am sleepy but wanted to post something since i havent written in a while i thought i would do a list of "stars and gripes"...i promise to write more details later! but here is a short list for now...

stars to:
-tax only being 5.1%
-less humidity
-our community meeting today going well
-my room finally being finished and feeling like it belongs to me
-things being less expensive
-the lakefront being pretty

gripes to:
-not really knowing my way around yet
-adjusting to living in a small-ish town
-not knowing anyone outside of my community
-living in an area where i cant wander around outside at night
-not having a real routine set yet
-missing everyone :(

all in a days work

today was our first day going to the education center for work...nothing too intense. just preparing and getting acquainted with the center before everything starts on september 8th.

we spent the morning doing a mailing and getting binders ready for all the mentors that will be spending time with the kids at the center this year. in the afternoon, desiree and i met with shirley, the site director, to go over all our responsibilities and schedule for the year.

i am going to be in charge of tutoring in the center's library, keeping track of the attendance records, writing student and church newsletters, keeping correspondence with the mentors, organizing the incentive program, maintaining the bulletin boards, and running a weekly theme activity. during the days, we will also be helping other administrators at the center with whatever tasks they may need assistance with.

i guess writing it all in one place makes it sound like a lot of work, but from what i have gathered so far, it seems like it is going to be very similar to being an ra :) im sure there will be new and different challenges but maybe this wont be too far from what i am used to!

tomorrow its back to stuffing binders and helping out with whatever needs to be done before the center opens. and then the milwaukee brewers game on wednesday!

thats it for now...stay tuned for more updates!

pictures!

a few pictures so you can see where i am...more to come later :)


my room (so far!)


view from outside my window...on the "noisy" side of the street


lakefront

hey new home

so here i am writing to you from racine, wisconsin!

i arrived on thursday afternoon after 2 delayed flights and an extra $50 for luggage. we spent the evening unpacking and getting settled and then had dinner with our community members (minus brother leo who was away for a family wedding). everyone in the community is really great and i think that we are going to have a really good year. so far it seems like we have a good "vibe" and that everyone is getting along just fine.

on friday, desiree and i ventured to target to get some things that we needed to make our move in complete. and target is the same everywhere! which i like :) the area around the target has a lot of stores and restaurants and its not too far from the house so it will probably be an area that we go to often for anything we may need. we also went grocery shopping in the afternoon (which is going to be my community responsibility for the year) with brother mike.

today me, desiree, and evan walked into the "downtown" area just a few minutes from our house. there are a lot of little shops, the racine art museum, restaurants, and bars. apparently there are 26 bars within walking distance from our house and we have decided that each and every one of them is going to be on our wisconsin bucket list for the year! tonight we went to mass and had a little happy hour dinner in the backyard followed by dairy queen for dessert.

tomorrow, desiree and i are helping register students for the education center and then monday we will start working at the center.

so overall things are good. i am still getting settled and need to finish putting up all my pictures before i really feel at home but i am much more at ease now than i was. i really think that things will turn out to be really great here and i am excited to see what the next year will bring!

ready or not, here i come...

so it is official...after hours upon hours of procrastination, a week of deciding what i will want to have with me in the next year, 2 suitcases, and a dufflebag, i have finished packing!

tomorrow i will say peace out to the east coast and step onto the scene in the midwest- i really do hope they are ready!

but whether they are ready or not, and whether i am ready or not, i am going. i can't believe that summer has gone and it is already time for me to move! when i booked my flight, august 19th seemed so, so, so far way, and now it is here! but such is life...

but keep reading my blog and checking in to see what i am up to. and send me mail if you are feeling extra nice :)

next time i write to you, it will be from about 1000 miles away! wish me luck, i'm off to change the world!

dear racine

dear racine, wisconsin,

tomorrow, i, catherine ann elizabeth calogero, will be gracing your lovely city with my presence for an entire year. i am writing this letter to you now as a sort of warning for what may ensue. i apologize in advance if my behavior in any way shocks or offends you or any of your residents. please understand that new york city and wisconsin may have different standards of what is and is not acceptable and that i will do my best to keep things under control. i will admit that i am nervous to be hanging out with you for an entire year, but i think we will get along just fine. please be patient with me and i promise to do the same.

with all my love,
cath

READ THIS!

i have just started to read the alchemist (thanks jenn!) and even after reading only the introduction, i know that this is the PERFECT book for me to be reading right now! so i wanted to share the intro of the book...i think it will really help me get adjusted to my new journey



"all i know is that, like santiago the shepherd boy, we all need to be aware of our personal calling. what is a personal calling? it is god's blessing, it is the path that god chose for you here on earth. whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. however, we don't all have the courage to confront our own dream.

why?

there are four obstacles. first: we are told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible. we grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear, and guilt. there comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. but its still there.

if we have the courage to disinter dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. we know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. we do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward. we do not realize that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

one we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. we who fight four our dream suffer far more when it doesnt work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: "oh well, i didnt really want it anyway." we do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.

i ask myself: are defeats necessary?

well, necessary or not, they happen. when we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. the secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

so, why is it so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people?

because, once we have over the defeats- and we always do- we are filled by a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. in the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life. each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. we start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently unbearable; the latter goes on for year, and without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.

having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives.

oscar wilde said: "each man kills the thing he loves." and its true. the mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. we look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. we forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. i have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal- when it was only a step away.

this is the most dangerous obstacle because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. but if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of god, you help the soul of the world, and you understand why you are here"

i swear i am going to start packing tomorrow...

well worth the wait?

so i realize that it has been FOREVER since i last posted on here and i apologize for that. but i feel like i now have some good things to share and hopefully (fingers crossed!) it will be well worth the wait!

i just returned on monday from 10 days in philly for orientation for the lasallian volunteer program. overall, it was a great experience, i met some really great people, and it really confirmed why i am about to embark on this journey, buttttt there were points during the week where i was not so sure about the next year of my life.

i feel like since orientation and probably until i leave i go through phases. the first phase is one of "omg...this is a terrible mistake...i have no idea what i am doing" and the other phase is "this is the right decision...i am going to really enjoy the next year...and i am excited to leave". and after thinking about it more and more, i have decided that this is probably somewhat normal.

it is getting closer and closer to when i will be leaving and i think with me realizing the little amount of time that i have left in my familiar environment, it is all becoming more and more real. its not that i dont want to do this, but its the unknown. its different. and for every bit of excitement i have, there is a bit of nervousness.

so ive decided to stop thinking about whether or not this is right and take the last 2 weeks of my summer to be with the people who are important to me, do things that i can only do on the east coast, and enjoy myself!

im backkkkk

so i am sitting in the chicago airport waiting for my delayed flight to ny to leave and i thought it would be a good idea to get all my thoughts about my site visit written before i forget!

i arrived in wisconsin on wednesday morning, spent some time with the current volunteers that are placed there, and then spent the afternoon at the site where i would be working in the fall.

the site is called john XXIII education center. the building that it is housed in used to be a middle school, but because of funding, was forced to shut down. after the school was shut down, many of the administrators and faculty involved decided that in order to stay connected with the students and continue to positively influence academics in the community, that the space should be converted into the after school center that it is now.

i will be working in the “library” of the center, where students can come to do homework, read, or play games. unfortunately, when the school was closed, everything that was originally housed in the building was sold. this means that there was NOTHING left to begin this education center with. so as you can imagine, the “library” is not what we are typically used to. there are only a few shelves of books, which have all been donated, so many are not in good condition.

most of the students who live in the community are latino and come from homes where they have little to no encouragement and support when it comes to academics. many parents of these students have to work multiple jobs to support their families, are involved in drugs or gangs, or have not even completed high school themselves. the students in this community have to be so self motivated and grown up at such a young age to be successful.

i worked with students on math, biology, and physics (yuck!) and then spent time playing with them after all their work was completed. it gave me some sort of hope to know that despite the adversity these student are faced with, they are still motivated to beat the odds. many of the high school students at the center talk about going to college and becoming professionals and many of the middle school students told me about how they were on honor roll or were working ahead in their classes to ensure their success.

On thursday, i went to lunch with the director of the center, shirley. she is probably one of the cutest old women i have ever encountered! she volunteers all of her time at the center and is the reason that the center has not closed down since it opened last fall. she has poured her efforts into writing grants to ensure that there is money to sustain the center for the community. she has had tons of experience in higher education and teaching and now devotes her time to running the center.

the great thing about the center is that it is so new. they are pretty much willing to let me do whatever I want (within reason of course!), which is awesome/scary/exciting all at the same time. because of this, i think i will be able to gain some really great experience in terms of public health and education. the work that i am going to be able to do at the center excites me and i think it will be a really good way for me to determine what i want to do in the next stage of my life.

the city and community of racine does not excite me, however. it is true that racine is not a farm, but it would be a stretch, in my mind at least, to call racine a city. the house where i will be living is connected to the education center. on one side of the house, there is a typical suburban neighborhood with nice homes and the lakefront. but on the other side of the house, the area is not so safe, run down, and struggling. this is where most of the students who come to the education center live.

i was reading a book that the 7th grade class from the middle school last year put together of stories and poems from their language arts class. it was amazing to me that content that the students were writing about. there were short stories about being initiated into gangs by being jumped, poems about parents being put into jail, and reflections about the loss of family members due to violence. and this is when i realized that although where i am living might not be somewhere i would choose on my own, i can do a lot of good here. these kids do not have any sort of guidance or support at home, get no encouragement, and have few good role models to look up to, and while i may not be the smartest or best role model in the world, what i can offer these students is much more than they already have. and it would be selfish of me to deny them that because i want to live in a big city.

so overall, i am happy. i know that i will be challenged by moving away from the city life that i am used to, but it will be worth it :)

t minus 7 hours

sooo it is 11:38 pm the night before i am leaving for wisconsin and i have yet to pack anything. instead i have decided that a blog entry is obviously way more important than gathering the belongings i will need in the next 72 hours.

everyone keeps asking me if i am nervous about visiting. and i keep saying that im not. and i dont think i am. i am definitely anxious about visiting and seeing racine, but i dont think nervous is the right word.

i am going to try and take pictures and update this so everyone knows what wisconsin is like! but now i must go pack...see you on friday :)

let the adventure begin...

i have booked a flight to wisconsin!

i will be visiting my new home/workplace/community may 26-28. i spoke with one of the brothers that i will be living with and he sounds like he is really great. he seemed like he is funny and i am excited to meet him.

and i am starting to (believe it or not) actually get excited about next year as well. i think that this will be a great experience for me and that i will be able to do a lot of great work in this community. i think a big part of my excitement is the idea of everything coming together and having a solid plan for the next year.

i cant wait to visit :)

thank you google

today i went on google maps, typed in my new wisconsin address, and proceeded to "walk" around racine, wisconsin. i "walked" to lake michigan, through residential streets, and to main street.

google maps is so great. i was able to see the community that i am going to be living in and the rumors are true- no farms! :) from what i saw, the area looks a little like some areas of new haven that i have been through. i am much more at ease now and i think that living in wisconsin will not be as terrible as i originally imagined it.


and for all the skeptics out there, try it yourself! go to http://maps.google.com/ and type in 1109 Douglas Ave, Racine, WI 53404- comments, questions, and concerns are welcome!

if i want to save the world, i have to start somewhere

so i never thought i would say this...but i will be moving to wisconsin

i spoke with lasallian volunteers last week and they said that they had found a placement for me for next year. as the site was being described to me, it sounded really good. the population i would be working with would be mostly latino, i would be able to serve as a mentor to students, help with tutoring, create my own public health type of program for students in the schools, and plan events for the community. no location was mentioned, but i figured with a population that was mostly latino, i had to be in a big city, right? WRONGGGG...i heard the word wisconsin and i pretty much stopped listening to the entire conversation after that.

i told the woman i was speaking with that i didnt really picture myself in a place like wisconsin and explained how important living in an urban environment was for me. she promised that she was not sending me to a farm somewhere, and there were would not be cows living outside my house, and that i would be surprised at how urban a city in wisconsin could actually be. and then she apologized for "surprising" me :)

so i thought about it. cried about it. talked to some people about. and then i decided that i just need to do this. although wisconsin is not my ideal location, it would be selfish and unfair of me to not be of service where i am needed because of location. i thought about why i wanted to spend a year doing volunteer work and the reason was never because i wanted to live somewhere "good". if my job is what i want to be doing and i have really decided to volunteer for the reasons that i said i was volunteering for then wisconsin it is!

my mom told me that i just have to learn to adapt and that its only one year of my life. she's right. everyone else said that i can make the best of it and that if anyone can live in wisconsin, its me. they're right too.

the initial shock of it all is starting to wear off and i am excited to have the opportunity to visit and see what wisconsin is all about. if i want to save the world, i have to start somewhere. and maybe in the middle of the united states is a good place to start...