when i first decided to be a lasallian volunteer, it was only supposed to be for one year. my plan was to spend a year after college in the program and then move on to the next thing- whatever that was at the time! but as my first year as a volunteer progressed, it just seemed like there was more that i could do here and that leaving after only one year would almost feel like selling something short, or cheating, or missing out. sooooo much to my surprise, and im sure the surprise of many others, i decided to come back for a second year.
and now here i am, at just about the 3 month mark for round 2. how do i feel about my decision to stay? it was 100% right and where i need to be right now. is it different than last year? absolutely! even though i am doing the same work and interacting with many of the same students, life is much, much different. am i glad that i decided to come back for a second year? without a doubt!
i have talked with a few people about how the second year as an lv is so much different than the first. you actually go into situations having some sort of idea of what you are doing and you feel more comfortable and confident suggesting new things and proposing ideas. people might actually come to you to ask for help. and the relationships you began the year before are continuously developing and growing stronger.
and that is where i think the biggest challenge of being a second year volunteer comes up. at the end of the year you will be leaving. there isn't really the time you had during your first year where you were deciding if you will be back for another year. when students ask you if you are coming back next year, you already know the answer, but you have to wrestle with finding the delicate balance of telling them too early in the year or not being completely truthful with them.
being a volunteer puts you in the incredibly unique role of really immersing yourself in whats going on around you. particularity in the work that i do, which is after school support, i get to know the students i work with in a different way than their classroom teachers do. i play the part of tutor, listener, activity planner, group leader, and sometimes even counselor. i know what the strengths and weaknesses of our students are regarding their schoolwork, but i also know about their families, their friends, and what they like to do. i live right next door to where i work and walk about 3 steps to get to work each day, which can make it hard to separate what i do at work from what i do at home. but thats the nature of the beast, and in the long run, i think it makes me better at what i do.
so how have i been going about reconciling the struggle of knowing that at the end of the year these chapters of my life will be coming to a close and a new chapter will begin? and how do i react to students offering to pay me a salary to stay and work here? (if only! haha)
i try to remind myself that something is better than nothing. being here for two years has been a complete blessing in my life and i have to be thankful for that! there are too many good things that have happened in my time here to focus on the fact that i will be leaving in june. i have learned many things about myself, how to interact with students, and the education system. and ive even been inspired to pursue a career in education after my time here is complete- an interesting side effect i was NEVER expecting from this whole experience!
i know that the year is far from over and i still have lots of time here, but i also know its going to go fast! my current challenge is being sure to live in the here and now and not let the fact that i need to start preparing for next year distract me from all the good in my life here. i have LOTS of good memories and stories and artwork :) from everyone and everything in my life here and i am beyond thankful for that! :)
