i'm a believer

i must begin with my apologies on not updating my faithful readers on my super exciting life in almost 3 weeks! november has been soooo busy and now that thanksgiving has given me some time off of work, i finally am able to take some time to update everyone on the last few weeks. so yes this will be long...but it will be worth it! :)

we have had a visitor at our house every weekend in november! my mom came for a weekend, court came to visit, and jolleen, the associate director of the lasallian volunteers was here right before thanksgiving. (all the volunteers get a visit from one of the programs administrators twice a year to check in and see how everything is going) it was nice to have different people around and spend some time with people from home. i cant believe that i have been in wisconsin for 3 whole months! time has definitely gone by quickly but it was nice to have some familiar faces around, especially right before thanksgiving.

work has been going well. i am busy, but not too busy :) and the kids are so great. they are hilarious and i constantly find myself entertained by them. i wish that i could pass of their jokes as my own but im not so sure they would be as funny coming from me as they are coming from them.

jolleen was the person was responsible for my whole interview process with the lasallian volunteers so i thought it was pretty fitting that she was also coming for our site visit. leading up to her visit i thought a lot about my whole interview process and how reluctant i was to agree to come to racine for my year of service so i decided that when she came to visit i was going to investigate the whole placement process which i prefer to think of as a draft :)

the only thing i really remember about the conversation i had with jolleen when she told me i was moving to wisconsin was me responding with "yea, no, i really dont see myself there". when i asked jolleen what she remembered she said that she was surprised that i asked her if there were cows there. HAHA yes, i probabaly did do that too! and i think it went something like "when i think of wisconsin, all i think of is cows. there is no way that racine is urban." jolleen also told me how surprised she was that i agreed to come to racine with so little persuasion on her part. she said that when i told her that i was going to agree to my placement she thought i was either really resilient and up for a challenge or completely crazy. i think its a little of both!

it was nice to have jolleen here to not only answer my burning questions about placement, but also to check in with and talk about how everything has been going this year so far. we talked about how this whole experience has surprisingly made me consider teaching in the future and how i really feel that i have learned just as much, if not more, from the students i work with as they have learned from me.

a big part of my experience that i shared with jolleen was the fact that i often think about the students i work with and how they have lived more life in their time up to middle or high school than i probably will live in my entire life. in the past 3 months, i have heard more stories about families that are struggling, brothers and sisters who are in jail, people who have been shot or killed, and the difficulties of having family in two countries at once than i have in my entire life. and the kids tell me like its nothing! it is so crazy for me to think that a lot of these situations are "normal" for them and i admire them for the adversity that they often face. the meaning of resiliency has never been so clear to me!

yesterday we spent the day in chicago at two different lasallian communities for the thanksgiving holiday. both of the communities have lasallian volunteers, but only one of the communities has brothers living with them. it was nice to see everyone again and spend time with a bigger group for thanksgiving. we were able to see how everyones service work was going and get a change of scenery for the day.

on our way home, desiree and i were talking about the hoidays, and our work, and our time at thanksgiving and we both agreed that...

DRUMROLLLL PLEASE (because you never thought that i would say this!)

we are so happy that we are in racine. i know! i was kind of surprised too! i mean, are there things i dont love about my experience so far? yes. do i miss living in new york? absolutely. do i sometimes wish that i was closer to my family and friends? of course. but its normal to feel those things and i have no regrets about taking part in this experience.

so yes, here is my shout out to jolleen, alissa, mari, and zac...i get it now. i'm a believer. and i know why you guys are in charge! :)

i think that pretty much sums it up for now. 2 more weeks until christmas break! yayyyyyyy :) and one more week until the marathon. i reached my fundraising goal! but that doesnt mean you still cant donate all that money you saved this morning on your black friday sales to yours truly :) heres the link...https://lasallianvolunteers.myetap.org/fundraiser/lvsrunninginmemphis/individual.do?participationRef=4586.0.2022467

buddha says it best!

so this is my postsecret postcard that i made and mailed in last year. for those of you who dont know about postsecret, you should really check it out! its a blog that asks people to anonymously send in their secrets and each week many of the secrets received are posted. and they have books. and i love love love it!


but anywayyyy- i have been thinking A LOT lately about my time here and the work i have been doing and even about next year. the lasallian volunteers allow each us to choose to renew our time at our sites for a second year if we want to. we can also choose to renew for a second year and request to switch which site we work at. and for whatever reason, the idea of deciding what i want to do next year has been in my head. and although it is a while before i have to make a decision, i still think about it often.

there is a big part of me that is so ready for the next step. i have had my time away from school and am ready to be in a classroom learning again. i want to be back in the city and pursuing a master's degree. the idea of this is exciting to me and i am eager to get going on it. but this would mean that i would have to take the gre over christmas break and start on my applications and whatnot like yesterday. so while it is possible, i would definitely be cutting it a little close.

the other big part of me feels that it would be so unfair for me to leave here after only one year. a year sounds like a longggg time, but its not! i cant believe that its already november and that i have been living in wisconsin for almost 4 months! i have started to get really close with a lot of the kids and when they ask me if i am coming back next year, i almost feel bad telling them that i dont know.

the kids that we work with experience change and inconsistency more often than not. some of them have moved 4 or 5 times in a year, changed schools numerous times, and live in homes where they are promised things that never come to fruition. only 20% of teens perceive that adults in the racine county community value youth. only 23% of young people in racine county report having positive and responsible role models. and only 25% of racine county youth report having useful role models in the community.

i would just feel so guilty "abandoning" these kids and reinforcing the idea that adults here dont value the youth of the community. i know that i am not technically responsible for sustaining the development of all the kids i work with, but i cant help but feel at least a little responsible.

i know that i cant base my decision off of guilt or feeling bad or not wanting to disappoint anyone. and i also know that i have plenty of more time to make a final decision about what i want to do. for now, its not fair to live in the future and not focus on the present. i am here now and regardless of whether or not i will be back in the future shouldnt take away from what i am doing right now.

i think buddha sums it up pretty well- “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

5 simple rules to happiness

i found this and wanted to share!

5 simple rules to happiness:
1. free your heart of hatred
2. free your mind of worries
3. live simply
4. give more
5. expect less