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skatetown!

on friday, we took 13 of the kids on a roller skating field trip as a reward for our incentive program. the whole thing completely reminded me of when i was in middle school! and yes i did roller skate with the kiddos :)

the kids loved the trip and it was so nice to see them just be kids! they were able to do something that is completely normal by my standards but not so normal by some of theirs. most of them had been roller skating before, but it was still nice to take them on a trip that they may not have had the opportunity to go on without us taking them.

in other news...spring break is quickly approaching and i am pretty excited to have a week to do nothing. although doing nothing will include getting my taxes done, ordering my bridesmaid dress for this summer, and studying for some certification exams i have to take for teaching for next year. this weekend i am off to stl for a retreat for the lv program and then it will be break time for me. 

time is going by quickly! i cant believe its almost march already!

roses and thorns

i havent really been super motivated to blog about anything specific lately, but i thought a short lists of highs and lows that have been going on recently would be nice...

roses:

• its almost the weekend! 
• my pandora was ON POINT allllllll day today
• starting this month, i will visit have visitors at least once a month until april...yippeee! 
• i finally got my reimbursement check from work today 
• im relieved that i finally have a solid plan for next year and am anticipating the exciting new challenges that the next step of my journey will present
• i got my hair cut for $2 today- thank you gateway technical college beauty school
• warm weather in january...i dont hate it
• a group of students that i work with as part of our outreach program asked to make a presentation and host an event about what they learned from our group to their classmates- sometimes what we do really does get through to them! :)
• my to-do list is almost empty
• i really honestly LOVE what i do and the people i interact with on a daily basis

thorns:

• i feel like january flew by! and im nervous that the rest of this year will speed by too! 
• lots of the kids are struggling with working on division and im struggling to find ways to better help them with
• im not getting my taxes done until march, but i want my refund now! 
• people who dont take things seriously 
• even though i know that i am going to be doing nyc teaching fellows next year, i have to wait a few weeks to find out where i will be teaching/going to school and i am IMPATIENT!

more roses than thorns, life is good! :) 

we have work to do

this week, brother mike shared this story with us. it is related to martin luther king day of course, but i think that is has so much more meaning and should be shared all the time, not just in honor of mlk!

"some years ago, i visited a middle school in denver. the ocassion for the visit was a martin luther king day assembly. when the assembly was finished, i was surrounded by a dozen or so students. one of them, an african american young man who looked about 13 or 14, sidled up closer to me and said, "dr. harding, ive got a question to ask you." with an interesting combination of boldness and wonder, he asked, "if dr. king knew that he could be killed at any time, why didnt he just back off? why didnt he just chill out for a while?"

as i stood there, considering how i might share with my young friend the reality of martin's committment, courage, and compassion, a young woman who looked about the same age as the questioner moved in to my aid. "what do you mean 'chill out'? dr. king couldnt chill out. he had work to do." 

there it was. the word. for them, for me, for all of us, especially in times like these, when it seems so much easier to chill out, to back off and away from the hard, sometimes dangerous work of challenging the racism, the extreme materialism, and the materialism that threaten to undermine our best possibilities for creating a humane, compassionate, and nonviolent democracy, king's kind of place. so the word continues: we have work to do, not just to celebrate, admire, and praise him. but, like him, we have work to do, to be." 

-vincent harding 
from martin luther king: the inconvenient hero

after we were done reading this story, we were asked to reflect on how this story and the story of our center may interesect. for me, this was such an easy question!

my work in racine has inspired me to pursue education as a career. it would be easy for me to use my degree in chemistry to do something else and probably make lots more money doing it. the thing about people who study science and are decent at it, is that they dont go into teaching because there is more money almost in any other job. so what we are left with are mediocre (at best) science and math teachers and students who cant find any way to connect with the subject matter or develop an interest in the very area that we need people to become competent in.

so yes, while it may not be easy and some people may question why i would choose to go into teaching after spending 4 years slaving away learning about areas of chemistry that i didnt even know existed, this is what i have decided. 

i have been accepted to the nyc teaching fellows program for june 2012 and will begin my work in education this summer! i know that this next chapter of my journey may not be easy and will definitley test me as an educator and an individual. i want to make my mark in the world of education and am excited for my opportunity to do that to begin this summer.

we have work to do and it begins with the education of our youth. and i have work to do...it begins with me taking the first steps to becoming a caring and quality educator! 

my life is normal

sometimes when i think about where i am and what i am doing, i cant help but wonder how it has worked out.  i have had a pretty easy and "normal" life. i grew up in a house that supported me, valued education, and spent time together. i went to school and college. and i have never really had to struggle to the degree that some other people have to on a daily basis.

most of the students i interact with each day don't come from a place like this. they live in a house and neighborhood that is not always safe with people who are not always setting a good example. some of them spend their time in juvenile centers, while others of them are constantly fighting the pressure to be in a gang. some of them don't have basic english skills, are grieving the loss of parents, both physically and emotionally, and a few of them become teen parents.

when i sit down and think about it all at once, its overwhelming. how can someone like me, who has had an easy, run-of-the-mill experience with life, possibly even come close to understanding and connecting with people, especially kids, who have lived more life in 11 or 12 years that i might possibly live in an entire lifetime?!?

i think its so easy to get caught up in dwelling on the fact that many of these kids dont have it easy. and that life isnt fair is dealing things out the way it does. i think its easy to say you feel bad for someone who has had these experiences or feel like you need to do something for someone who hasnt had it so easy. but i also think doing these things and feeling bad for these kids is probably one of the worst things that i could do for them.

its true that many of their situations are not ideal, but they are still kids who act like other kids. they like the same things, act the same way, and make the same mistakes. so why should i treat them any differently? these kids are not their situations- they are smart, funny, creative individuals who have bright, happy, and successful futures ahead of them!

it really is an incredible thing if you think about it- how people from all different places and backgrounds and age groups can really understand one another and grow to develop meaningful relationships. my experience has proved to me that there really is something common that ties us all together and i really dont have the words to express how thankful i am for having the opportunity to learn this from this experience.

when i think about this, i also cant help but give these kids credit. if i were them, i am not sure that i would be as welcoming or open to a stranger like me coming into their lives. i definitely have not had the same experiences as some of these kids, but they dont seem to mind, and i am BEYOND grateful for that :)

first update of 2012!

so its been exactly 2 months since i last wrote something for this blog, which could be a new record for longest time it has taken me to update! so for all of you have been anxiously awaiting an update, here it is...

i was able to go home for christmas and new years for 2 weeks which was a great little vacation and time off. i got to see my family, some friends, and do nothing for a good portion of my break, which was really nice. its always good to go home for a while and see everyone, but it is also nice for me to have some time away from the center. i always find that i can do my best thinking about and reflecting on something when i spend some time away from it!

i am still waiting to hear back from the programs i applied to for next year so that i can start to actually plan a bit more for my life after racine. i have gotten some updates from them that sound pretty favorable, but many of the programs have to wait and hear about what the current teachers are planning on doing for next year before they can make any decisions going forward. so im still waiting...which i will admit that i am not very good at!

this weekend i am heading to albany for the lasallian volunteers midyear retreat. i have never been to albany before, so i guess it will be nice to finally see the capital of new york? and if nothing else, it will be nice to connect with some of the other volunteers that i havent seen in a while and get a change of scenery!

being back in racine has been good and i am happy to be hanging out with the kiddos again. they are cute and funny and make me laugh, so i cant complain! i am staring more outreach groups this week and helping out with some grants so i have plenty of things to keep me busy and out of trouble :)

2012 is off to a good start and i think it will be a great year! here are some things i hope to accomplish for 2012:

• take a real vacation this summer 
• save some money 
• be better about updating my blog (i hope!) 
• read more
• grow out, cut, and donate my hair! 
• use spanish more
• become a morning person

thats all for now- hopefully my next update will be in less than 2 months! :)

expiration dates

when i first decided to be a lasallian volunteer, it was only supposed to be for one year. my plan was to spend a year after college in the program and then move on to the next thing- whatever that was at the time! but as my first year as a volunteer progressed, it just seemed like there was more that i could do here and that leaving after only one year would almost feel like selling something short, or cheating, or missing out. sooooo much to my surprise, and im sure the surprise of many others, i decided to come back for a second year.

and now here i am, at just about the 3 month mark for round 2. how do i feel about my decision to stay? it was 100% right and where i need to be right now. is it different than last year? absolutely! even though i am doing the same work and interacting with many of the same students, life is much, much different. am i glad that i decided to come back for a second year? without a doubt!

i have talked with a few people about how the second year as an lv is so much different than the first. you actually go into situations having some sort of idea of what you are doing and you feel more comfortable and confident suggesting new things and proposing ideas. people might actually come to you to ask for help. and the relationships you began the year before are continuously developing and growing stronger.

and that is where i think the biggest challenge of being a second year volunteer comes up. at the end of the year you will be leaving. there isn't really the time you had during your first year where you were deciding if you will be back for another year. when students ask you if you are coming back next year, you already know the answer, but you have to wrestle with finding the delicate balance of telling them too early in the year or not being completely truthful with them.

being a volunteer puts you in the incredibly unique role of really immersing yourself in whats going on around you. particularity in the work that i do, which is after school support, i get to know the students i work with in a different way than their classroom teachers do. i play the part of tutor, listener, activity planner, group leader, and sometimes even counselor. i know what the strengths and weaknesses of our students are regarding their schoolwork, but i also know about their families, their friends, and what they like to do. i live right next door to where i work and walk about 3 steps to get to work each day, which can make it hard to separate what i do at work from what i do at home. but thats the nature of the beast, and in the long run, i think it makes me better at what i do.

so how have i been going about reconciling the struggle of knowing that at the end of the year these chapters of my life will be coming to a close and a new chapter will begin? and how do i react to students offering to pay me a salary to stay and work here? (if only! haha)

i try to remind myself that something is better than nothing. being here for two years has been a complete blessing in my life and i have to be thankful for that! there are too many good things that have happened in my time here to focus on the fact that i will be leaving in june. i have learned many things about myself, how to interact with students, and the education system. and ive even been inspired to pursue a career in education after my time here is complete- an interesting side effect i was NEVER expecting from this whole experience!

i know that the year is far from over and i still have lots of time here, but i also know its going to go fast! my current challenge is being sure to live in the here and now and not let the fact that i need to start preparing for next year distract me from all the good in my life here. i have LOTS of good memories and stories and artwork :) from everyone and everything in my life here and i am beyond thankful for that! :)