so what happened?

from about 8th grade, i can always remember wanting to be a doctor. what kind of doctor i wanted to be often changed, but i was convinced that i was going to eventually go to medical school and practice medicine. in high school, i spent my extra time volunteering and being involved in extra activities so that i could get into a good college, and in college, i spent my extra time being part of organizations that had to do with pre-med stuff, volunteering, and spending time observing and working at doctors offices and hospitals. i even spent a tonnnn of money and a bunch of time studying for the mcat. which i ended up deciding not to take.

so what happened? i was doing everything "right". i followed all the steps that i should have to be on the right track. and then i just decided that it was all wrong. i could have easily cracked down, studied hard, taken the mcat, and applied to medical school. but i distinctly remember at one point during all of this, thinking about what i was really passionate about and how i could really use that to do something worthwhile with my future. and it wasnt being a doctor anymore.

of course we need doctors and it is a great profession, but it just wasnt for me. especially with the changes in healthcare that were being proposed, i just felt like i would be working for a big company. i would be at the mercy of insurance companies and wouldnt really be practicing medicine the way that i pictured a doctor always did. someone who never studied medicine would be telling me what medicine to give someone and how to treat someone based on if they could pay for it. and thats frustrating to me!

so i was back at square one. now what? combine my interest in science/health care and do something to fight the frustrating "system" that is currently in place. public health! great- i can combine what im good at, what i like, and still do something worthwhile.

but what all that time i spent volunteering and studying and making sure that i was checking off everything i was supposed to be doing so that i could go to med school? sometimes i think about it and feel like i wasted a lot of time and a lot of effort getting ready for something that i ultimately didnt follow through on. its a little dissapointing, but i dont regret it and i think that says something. i really believe that it was "time well wasted" if there is such a thing. knowing what you dont want to do is just as important as knowing what you do want to do, and while it took me a while to pinpoint exactly what that was i am thankful that i have a clear idea now. 

my whole experience in racine has made me even more aware the flaws in our health care system and the need for more advocacy of these benefits. i am thankful that i have had this time to learn more about and reflect on where i see myself heading in the future.

in other news....
spring break starts this thursday and i couldnt be happier to have some time off! i am going to head to minneapolis to visit lizzy and erin, who are lasallian volunteers at a high school there. it should be fun to get a change of scenery and visit a new state. happy easter!